apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
