You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
