The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
