I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
