Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drake has all the answers
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
