dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
