definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
