I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
