sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
