I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
