woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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