I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Green mimosas i think yes
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
