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the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
