That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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