I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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