Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize