i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
