the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
