I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
