Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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