what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
