Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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