Banned from zoo.
Again?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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