The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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