Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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