I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
