I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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