i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
