Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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