I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
