i just wanna soil my oats bro
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
