just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
