I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize