So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
