It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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