woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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