Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
