Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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