just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
