Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
