i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize