You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
