Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Randomize
