It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
