dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
