He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
