Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I need to stop coming to work sober
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
