everyone is single if you try hard enough
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
