I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You are the jesus of drinking
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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