just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
