Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
