Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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