She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
