My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
