Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
