i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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