We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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